Ok, so there’s nothing particularly bad about Christmas day itself. This post is purely aimed at the irritating build up that I’ve experienced this year. As proof that I’m not completely void of Christmas cheer, the above shows me enjoying festivities to the extent that I’m almost smiling.
I’ve never really understood the point of Christmas Cards. They make sense as a way of reminding old acquaintances that we haven’t forgotten about them at a truly joyous time of year, but I don’t understand the need for them for close family members. People I see every day. People who I will be issuing a face-to-face Christmas greeting to on the day itself. In this instance, cards are pointless. Nevertheless, to avoid the risk of being labelled ‘unthoughtful’, I recently found myself buying Christmas cards for my Mum and Dad.
The first problem I have with cards is the image on the front. In recent times, more and more objects that have no relevance to Christmas seem to find their way onto cards, turned ‘Christmassy’ by putting a Santa hat on it, or having it standing in some snow. I’ve made a useful list for any prospective Christmas Card buyers, so they can be aware of what makes a card relevant.
Acceptable Christmas Card Images
- Christmas Tree
- Biblical Scenes
Unacceptable Christmas Card Images
- Random animals with Santa hats on
- Random buildings in snow
- A letterbox
Two examples of unacceptable Christmas Cards that I have received this year.
The second problem I have with Christmas Cards is the pre-typed messages that are written inside. Apparently writing ‘To Mum’ above the pre-typed message and ‘Love From Daniel’ beneath the pre-typed message requires no effort and a lack of imagination. I should instead also write my own personal message inside the card. The problem is that the pre-typed message usually fulfills all available options, so I end up replicating the message. Most of my Christmas cards therefore read like this:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Another thing I’ve noticed this year is the trend in which some people put things inside the cards they send. No not money. I’m talking about things like glitter, sequins and tiny paper stars. Although seemingly a fun and festive addition to the card process, I remember a simpler time when the opening of Christmas cards didn’t precede several minutes of hoovering.
This year at work a convenient break in my workload coincided with the first Monday of December – the day the office decorations are put up – which I quickly learnt was entirely inconvenient. Unwillingly nominated as Christmas decorater, I went to retrieve the box of aged decorations from the back of an unused cupboard, before discarding them all and deciding that a sole tree would satisfy the instruction of “Make the Office look really Christmassy”. 30 seconds later I declared office decorating to be complete, and I went to the kitchen to make a 6th coffee of the day. Unfortunately though “Simply leaning the tree against the wall does not count as putting up the decorations”
I was then told by my manager that as well as the tree, random office items of my choice should be wrapped in tinsel aswell. So at the nearest opportunity involving her vacant desk, I took to mummifying most of her equipment in tinsel. The two photo’s here don’t entirely do the decorating justice, since spray adhesive doesn’t appear to be picked up by the camera.
I genuinely started this post with several ideas to
write moan about. However, due to a few accompanying beers my mind has quickly gone blank. To keep this topical I really need to publish this tonight so regrettably this has become the finished article. Oh no. I’ve just had a thought. It couldn’t possibly be that the lack of ideas to moan about is simply because there aren’t any? I’m not actually looking forward to Christmas am I? Well friends, I should quickly conclude. On behalf of myself, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Love Daniel.